I’m Just Not Good Enough.
“I have failed too many times…I feel like right when I begin to follow Jesus, I fall on my face…I’m just not good enough.” Ever feel this way? I know I do on a daily basis. If you’re anything like me, you proclaim these words about yourself on a consistent basis. We constantly focus on our flaws, our shortcomings, and our sins and by the end of the day, we’re exhausted. Not physcially exhausted per say, but rather spirtutally and emotionally tired. If this at all resonates with your life, there is hope beyond what you can imagine.
One of the most telling stories of God’s grace that I have ever read comes in Luke 7:36-50. Luke records a unique interaction between Jesus and a woman at a religous man’s house. As Jesus sits down to eat dinner, a woman, whom we read is “immoral”, brings Jesus an expensive bottle of perfume and proceeds to fall at the feet of Jesus and weep. Talk about dinner and a show all at the same time!
The religious man, Simon, sits there and watches this unfold right before his eyes; he is in shock and cannot believe this immoral, unclean woman is touching Jesus! Jesus, knowing Simon’s thoughts, challenges his thinking:
“Then Jesus told him this story: A man loaned money to two people—500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?’” (Luke 8:41-42)
Of course Simon responds to Jesus by saying that the person who had the bigger debt loved the man more. Agreeing with Simon, Jesus goes on to contrast both Simon and the woman. He says that Simon never offered him water to clean his feet nor oil to put on his forehead (both customary signs of welcome in the Jewish culture). Yet, when the woman entered the house, she collapsed at Jesus feet and washed his feet with her hair (Side note: When a person traveled back in that time, they would go from place to place on foot…wearing sandals…while stepping in horse dung that caked the roads. Imagine how disgusting Jesus’ feet must have been!) Yet, the woman didn’t care about that-she just wanted to be at Jesus’ feet.
What a difference in reaction to the presence Jesus: Simon feels like he has it all together while the woman knows she doesn’t. Simon looks at Jesus as a teacher while the woman looks at Jesus as a healer. Simon’s actions show that he doesn’t need Jesus while the woman is desperate for Him. And what does Jesus say to her? “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace” (Luke 7:48).
When our reaction to our own brokenness is like the woman’s, we find peace. Furthermore,when we get to the point where we look at ourselves and say, “I’m broken, I’m messed up, or I’m just not good enough”, let us immediately throw ourselves at Jesus feet and realize He IS good enough to set us free from anything that weighs us down.